Mar. 28th, 2008

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I'm writing from my eeePC again (his name is Staypuft, he is marshmallow coloured but the opposite of gigantic) because Joe is on my computer, and beside him is Kelly on her laptop, and beside her is Hammond on HIS laptop. We've been inseparable lately (along with Adders when he's not at work) and it's been awesome. Because we all want to cut down on our spending, this weekend we're just going to hang out and draw, write, cook, and make stuff with Lego.

Today at work they had welcome drinks for me, so we got free booze and free gourmet pizza. I'm making friends with the other artists - they're awesome fun: Animator J.D. is a tall, built half-Polynesian guy who is picked on mercilessly by the other animator, Rosa, a tiny tomboyish half-Polynesian girl. There's Johnny, the only other Graphic Artist besides me at the moment (until Rosa's apparently peculiar boots-wearing fantasy-writing friend Katie starts on Monday), and he is quiet, serious and friendly, likes hip-hop and does graffiti art for freelance clients in his lunch break, and sits next to me so I'm getting to know him fastest. Then there's Daniel, who is the third current animator and plays amazing guitar, but is leaving soon for a cushy flash animation job with Terry White Chemists. Oh yeah, and he's marrying a Polynesian chick. So yeah, we've got this whole Polynesian thing happening, which Rosa says entitles her to make racist Polynesian jokes, to which I replied that I'm not allowed to make racist jokes because I'm half-German. ;)

Finally, David is the head of the design department and is basically the opposite of Kirsty, my old supervisor at MDI - he's laid-back and leaves you to do things your own way, offering help when it's needed but mostly just trusting us to take care of ourselves.

Aside from that, everyone else works downstairs and there's a distinct feeling of separation between the Art Department and the downstairs admin. The exception there is Chris (I think, I need to double-check that that's his name) who comes up with game concepts but is situated downstairs - he finds his way upstairs at least twice a day to hang out.

So far I've had nothing but positive comments on my artwork, and I'm working well ahead of the alloted time for each piece - as Daniel commented, "It's pretty cruisy."

I haven't been updating my journal much lately. There's not much to say. I'm happy. Life goes well.

Oh! One more thing! I went to the therapist... twice now. After the second session he said I don't need therapy, and that if I wished, he'd be happy to continue in the role of a life coach, but that it was up to me. I've taken him up on that, given that I'll get the Medicare rebate for four more sessions... there's always room for improvement no matter how good life is.

Over those two sessions I told him everything there was to tell. What is the point of going to therapy if you don't use the opportunity as fully as possible? I told him the things I felt and the things I did when I was at my lowest. I told him about the threesome and how laid-back my relationship with Joe is this time around.

Considering how ridiculously messed-up I was late last year, it is comforting to tell a psychologist absolutely everything and have him tell you that actually, you're fine.

I learned so much from what happened. I think I needed to break to be made anew; it's left me stronger and clearer and with a curious peace and self-assurance that grows every day - and those were two things I lacked before. I understand myself and my reactions to people and events far better now. I accept the place that bad feelings have in my life, and aim not to deny those feelings, but to accept them without allowing them to dictate my actions.

I like to think of those three or so months as "The Depression We Had To Have." There's a bad punnish reference for the Aussies reading.

Chris and Jess are laughing downstairs amidst the sound of Halo-explosions. Hammond and Kelly are next to me, looking at costumes in Guild Wars. Joe is in front of me, looking at Lego websites. Soon Adders will be here and we'll have dinner. My cats have arranged themselves around the room, whiskered faces cushioned on paws. My room is tidy and the weekend is ahead of me. A couple of days ago I untangled the final plot knot in my novel plan and it's laid out in front of me, as clear and sparkling and appealing as a crystal hall, and I just can't wait to start walking through it.


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Tania Walker

August 2008

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