Jul. 3rd, 2008

Pre-nups

Jul. 3rd, 2008 08:09 am
tania: (Harvey Birdman - Judy - To the rescue!)
Today's 'Dinosaur Comics' struck a chord. Way back when Rob and I were first dating, his mother pressed him to think about a pre-nuptial agreement, and I was deeply offended at what I perceived as a lack of trust in me on her part. I was also disturbed by the very concept: wasn't marriage meant to be about love and lifelong committment? Why was a pre-nup necessary at all?



This is a really interesting topic. I used to be intensely bothered by the idea of a pre-nup: the idea pierced a hole through my cosy belief in the infallibility of the institution of marriage. It wasn't romantic, certainly not idealistic... in fact, in every way it appeared to run contrary to what Hollywood taught me marriage is all about.

Except a marriage has to last a lifetime, over a ton of practicalities, and when you consider that, I think you'd be a lunatic not to account for the possibility that it might end. People change.

A pre-nup is "love with an asterisk", yes. When you think about it, everything in life has (or should have) an asterisk. Life is unpredictable, everyone is different, and often things don't work out as planned: this is complexity at work. It is naive to put marriage on a pedestal, immune from the changes that affect friendships, businesses, countries and individuals, and say, "NAWWWW, nothing could POSSIBLY go wrong!"

Reminds me of the time they set sail on the Titanic without enough lifeboats. The designer, captain and passengers all held an unshakeable belief in the absolute unsinkability of that ship. So when someone cynically (or perhaps just cautiously?) said, "Dude, there aren't enough lifeboats..." aforementioned designer was probably as taken-aback as I was when my ex-fiance's mother suggested a pre-nup.

Preparing for the worst doesn't mean the worst will happen. Having faith in something shouldn't preclude a good dose of reason.

Moofies

Jul. 3rd, 2008 07:12 pm
tania: (Default)
I need a reality break, so Joe and I are going to a late movie tonight. Only problem is that there are no late showings of Prince Caspian - which we still haven't seen - so our choices are limited to The Hulk or The Happening.

On one hand, The Hulk went down well with critics and the Happening... didn't. On the other hand I don't think I'm in the mood for an action flick. But on the hypothetical THIRD hand, I'd take Edward Norton over Mark Wahlberg any day. Decisions...

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Tania Walker

August 2008

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