Jul. 17th, 2008

tania: (Default)


That's for Joe. :D

Locals: The El Dorado cinema has a new website. It's pretty awesome, but why does everything new look like my iPod now? http://www.eldoradocinema.com.au

Also, I've got a Batman Day organised with my workmates for Saturday, when we're all going to Rosa and Mark's place in the morning to cram around the TV and watch 'Batman Begins', then tramping down to the El Dorado to watch 'Dark Knight'. Geeky good times! I'm going to pre-buy the tickets tonight and try not to get too tempted to see it tonight as well... D:

Actually, this weekend is packed to the rafters. Friday afternoon I'm meeting Damian in person. He's an awesome artist from the Gold Coast who has been living in the US for some time... his boyfriend over there died and so he's temporarily returned to Australia to think about what to do next. He found me through my art online and we're grabbing coffee this Friday, then Joe and I are heading down to his pad on the Gold Coast for the entirety of next weekend to draw, play the Wii and basically just have an awesome time. The Friday coffee thing is just so we can check in with one another beyond the constrains of the interweb, to make sure we're not wrong in assuming each other to be Awesome before we commit to a whole weekend of lulz together.

Back to THIS weekend... After coffee with Damo on Friday afternoon, Joe and I are zipping straight to work's "Christmas in July" function at the Black Forest Cafe on Friday night. It's an awesome German restaurant on Highgate Hill that I've wanted to go to for years. I'm having duck, Joe's having rabbit and we're swapping-and-sharing. I will report upon the taste at length. Brace thyselves for RABBIT.

On Saturday we've got the aforementioned Batman Day, which we're following with an unrelated party being thrown by Chris (not work-Chris, not brother-Chris, but friend-of-Sian's-Chris). Sunday morning we're peeling ourselves out of bed to go up to the farm, where we're going to chill out, recover from the first half of the weekend, and collect the TV so we can get it fixed and finally have that Doctor Who marathon we've been dreaming of.

Sunday night, I'm meeting Vix / [livejournal.com profile] quillblade for a one-on-one birthday dinner, where I can give her alla her pressies (I found quite a few but nothing that compares to the awesomeness of the Hahn & Thann massage session she bought for my b'day!) and we can play catchups. Also I can tease her about having a boyfriend. Do you guys have any idea how long I've waited to do that? A whole new avenue of friend!torture has just opened up before me! *wipes away a tear* I'm so happy. Anyway, I think we should drink a tasty beverage in acknowledgement of the fact that we've now been friends for a decade and haven't killed each other yet.

Also, last night Joey and I hung out with Viv / [livejournal.com profile] scoutlostthewar and we got red wine and Chinese food and it was good times. Slightly tipsy good times. Damo rang to organise Friday arvo right when we were saying bye to Viv, so I didn't get to say a proper goodbye, so for posterity: BYYEEEE VIV!

This is my punishment for last weekend, which was almost entirely free of socialising. Haw, and lately I've been grouchy about how my social life is slowing down. Hurrr. This weekend is a well-timed bitchslap from Life.

Reminder

Jul. 17th, 2008 03:52 pm
tania: (chickens)
I have to write one of these entries once every couple of years. It's a cruel twist of human nature that we often adjust so quickly to the good things we have in our lives, we forget that they're there, and focus only on what's giving us woe.

Lately my woe has been this: I've felt as though my friends have scattered to the winds. Uni holidays rolled up, and right when we were supposed to see the most of one another, we're barely seeing each other at all. The interconnected nature of Brisbane's social groupings has turned from a blessing into a curse. Catching up with Viv yesterday reminded me of the power of misinformation and rumor and how quickly those can move through the network, and how rapidly complications in one friendship can spread like a virus to another, and another, because everyone knows everyone in Brisbane. Have a fight with one friend and within just a few short weeks, you might find yourself unable to peacefully enjoy the company of your entire social group. Such is Brisbane.

I woke up this morning angry about something I heard last night, and that anger grew to encompass everyone I knew, and then this entire hick city. (Editor's note: Never underestimate the reach of anger powered by PMS - or, truth be told, just plain 'MS'. Stripping away the 'pre' part is some comfort though; when you're in the thick of it you know at least it's going to be over soon. Regardless of when during the monthly cycle it occurs, menstrually-inspired anger is mighty and dispropotionate. For example, yesterday morning on the bus to work I spotted an SUV on the road, a squat black tank overflowing its lane like bulldog in a cat basket - an SUV, in MY city! I experienced a moment of such rage I swear I could have punched a hole through the roof of the bus, leapt out through it and overturned that ridiculous black box of a thing without breaking a sweat.)

I got over this morning's non-SUV-related anger and got on with my day, but it sat somewhere in my lower left ventricle, waiting for next time I feel lonely or bored; an insoluable, insufferable, niggling little sadness-bug burrowing about in my chest. The worst of it is that I've always been an introvert and that people are an effort for me; in a way this should be a blessing. Yet now, without my people around, it bothers me. And it bothers me that it bothers me.

Ever solutions-focused, I've been working on making a few new friends these past few weeks, and strengthening the bonds with some people I'd previously seen as acquaintances. So my journal lately has been full of new names. And the balance here is changing too; there's more and more married couples for one thing. That's unrelated, but still interesting.

Anyway, the point of this journal entry, and the point is something I don't want to let myself forget again: Last year, it was all going to hell. I had good friends but I had a job that wasn't supporting me, no money, high stress, a difficult and costly living situation (compared to my current one, anyway), my relationship had crashed and burned, and for the latter part of the year I was in a darker place than any I've ever been in, including those few months when my parents divorced and Disney defeated me.

Where am I now? A have a brilliant job that challenges me, teaches me, pays me well to be creative, and surrounds me with awesome people every single day. I have more than enough money to do the things I've always wanted to do but never been able to manage, like travel. I live in a peaceful place where the hot water and stove and whitegoods ALL work (miracle of miracles), with a landlord-slash-flatmate who takes care of himself and asks nothing of us but that we pay the incredibly low rent and do our share, and where my cats can play safely outside with the sun on their backs.

I live with someone who I love very much; a man who isn't afraid to tell me that he loves me more every day; a man who is honest with me; who is intelligent and curious and questions everything; He makes me laugh. He likes adventures as much as I do. We've seen each other's darkest places and come back for more, and right now - and, we both believe, for a very long time to come - we're walking through life in the same direction.

I've finally had enough love, enough hurt, enough change and, as a result of those things, enough self-awareness that I have something to draw upon when I write. I lacked that before and I always knew it. I'm richer in spirit than I've ever been. When I remember how lucky I am to be so near the beginning of my short walk through the light of the world, it moves me to tears.

So this entry is for me because I'm human, and human nature is to forget good fortune and dwell on pain. This is my reminder.

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Tania Walker

August 2008

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